A Letter to My Friend Wedding

Dear Friend,
I am glad that you finally made the right decision to get a wife. The Bible say that is a good thing you have found there for yourself.

I think it was yesterday or the other day that I got your invitation card. It was not an invitation to attend the wedding but rather to be a member to the wedding committee.  I see you even went further and quoted an amount that I am expected to contribute. I must say that I feel honoured that you remember me. It has been years since the last time we met or spoke. I remember we used to be in the same school, and even the same church. But we recently befriended each other on Facebook, unfollowed each other on Instagram. My messages on Whatsapp stopped showing the delivery tick meaning you had probably blocked me. However, my old friend, I must say that this came as a surprise to me. You see, I have a wife in waiting myself. I am taking my time planning to get a lady and doing all that pertains to marrying her. Am sure it will only cost me very little money through Christ who strengthens me.

I see that your wife is trying to keep up with the Kardashians. It is a dream wedding that she wants without which she will not like to remember this day in her life just like many married ladies I see. The wedding day may not be a topic that will be talked about for long by many married ladies from my experience because they will feel bad it never went as expected. My firend, if you are able to afford that kind of a wedding, it will be a very good thing to do. But, kindly do not tie me to financial obligations when mine are already choking me. The current economic times have put a rope around everyone’s neck and am no exception. I cannot afford 20,000/- as contribution towards your wedding.

I am willing, more than willing to be a service provider- to oversee pitching of tents, directing guests to the sitting places, showing them the little rooms, collecting gifts and so on. I am willing to attend the committee to pray for your marriage. I am willing to attend the committee to arrange what will happen, where, how and when. I am willing to attend your wedding. I am willing to do all this. Friends need friends. But friends don’t exploit friends.
I saw I am added to a whatsapp group and facebook group you had created earlier as well- something about a goat eating party in preparation for pre-wedding!

You will forgive me, because the first thing I thought was: what a money collection idea! I could push myself and bring you a gift on your wedding day. It is a noble thing to do. However, I will not buy you a wife, help you wed her in an expensive ceremony, then stock your house. I often tell people to live within their means. I know you will thank me someday.

If you cannot afford your wife’s dream wedding, and you go ahead and give it to her still through contributions, what happens when she is about to deliver, and she needs a dream delivery at the Aga Khan? Will you call
us for an emergency ‘my-wife-is-delivering’ committee? When the kid wants to go to school and has to go to Cianda School, will you call us in as well? The world has neediest people, and more deserving causes, we can help needy children and the elderly!

All I am saying is a wedding, a luxurious one in this case is not for you if you cannot afford three quarter of the money required. If I were a bad person, I would have told you not to ask me to help you marry. But see, I explained myself as politely as I could. I refuse to be part of your wedding committee. Do not put me in that damn wedding committee. I am leaving the Whatsapp group as well as the Facebook one. I wish I could block your whatsapp group from being added just like on Facebook.

Yours faithfully,
Old friend

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